Today I am a baker. Oh don't get me wrong, I am still a gardener. I still made my rounds of the garden, noting that the Mole People seem to have retreated momentarily, and checked on the garden boat. Was again waylaid by the gorgeous view from the garden. But today, I AM a baker.
Richard has been asking for Whole Grain Bread which for me is using Spelt flour in my favorite recipe instead of unbleached flour. If you have never used Spelt flour, you don't know what you are missing. It is considered an "Ancient Grain" being a precursor of our modern Wheat, but much, much tastier. I can't digest Whole Wheat - I really don't like the taste and it doesn't agree with me. But Spelt I find has a sweeter flavor and is easily digested. So Spelt Bread it is. With Raisins and Craisins. And of course it will be baked in my Outdoor Gas Convection Oven.
I love to bake and I especially love to make and bake bread. Admittedly I cheat a little. I use a bread maker to mix and knead my dough, and I do it because I have arthritis that makes it really painful to knead dough by hand. Hence the bread maker. I have used bread makers now for 17 years and think they are one of the best kitchen inventions of the modern age. I have had my share of oooops's believe me. Like the time I forgot to put the paddle in the bread machine pan before putting in all the ingredients. Or forgetting the yeast. But nothing can compare to the time I tried to make bread dough in the Food Processor.
I am a Kitchen Gadget addict. I have two bread makers, a food processor, a stand mixer, all sorts of baking pans and sheets, plus lots of other gadgets too numerous to mention. I purchased this particular food processor because it was powerful enough to make bread dough in, and it came with a dough blade - a plastic dough blade.
So I gave it a try, following the instructions to the letter:
Position dough blade in container of processor - check
Add 3c flour, 1T sugar, 1t salt through chute - check
With processor running, gradually add yeast/water mixture down food chute - checkAdd additional flour to make a soft dough. Continue processing dough for 1 to 1-1/2 minutes.....
Looking back I can pinpoint the exact time things went horribly wrong. I can even laugh about it. But at the time, I just stood there frozen in shock.
As I am pouring the yeast/water mixture slowly down the chute, the plastic blade suddenly popped up out of the dough like a cork from a champagne bottle. And there I stood with my mouth open, eyes blinking, staring unbelieving at my beloved food processor. How could it betray me this way? How could it? So stunned was I that it took a whole minute for me to hit the kill switch on the darned machine.
So, now what do I do? I have a food processor bowl full of half mixed bread dough, and am too stubborn to just throw it out. I can't mix it by hand - the arthritis thing. Then my eyes light upon my bread maker...sure, why not. And into the bread maker pan it all goes. Nothing to lose at this juncture.
Long story short it, surprisingly, turned out to be some of the best bread dough I had made for a while. I labeled it Faloooopy bread, for the sound the plastic dough blade made when it popped up out of the dough at 3000rpm or however fast it went. And I learned my lesson. Use a food processor for what it was intended - slicing veggies, chopping onions and shredding cheese. And if I do ever decide to try bread dough again in it, I will use the steel blade, not the light plastic one.
My bread machine has finished mixing and kneading my Spelt bread dough and it is on it's first rise. I can't wait to bake it. That mouth watering aroma of baking bread is second only to the flavor of a warm slice slathered in real butter. Mmmmmmmm!
Will my bread turn out? Of course it will. What could possibly go wrong??!!!
wat mom doin'?
lookin' fow mow pepl'.
mow pepl'?
wats mow pepl'?
dunno, but she mad at 'em.
dey gud ta eat?
dunno.
As I roll up the beach mats they sniff the ground by the pea patch, searching for clues. After the mats are up I look down and turn the air blue.
uh oh.
wat?
mom sed a swear!
she mad!
we hep u find da mow pepl', mom.
wats a mow pepl'?
dunno.
The stocks of mint I had placed up against the wall of the shed over the pea and bean seeds has been pushed aside, and dirt has been kicked on it. The red clay pots are still there, but the dirt is all scuffled with little paw prints and there are tiny holes where the seed used to be. I scrunch my eyes. Still no sign of my garden trowel. I stand with hands on hips gazing back and forth, trying to come up with a solution. None comes.
Growling to myself I walk away to the garden boat to roll up the beach mats there and nearly step on a doggie mine. Sigh, that's all I need to make my day complete.
Time for morning Cappuccino.
It's 3pm and I still don't have a solution. I have considered and discarded several ideas as either too labor intensive or too far out there. I decide to revisit the scene of the crime. My entourage follows.
I wander past the pea patch, thinking; nothing new there. Pea seeds are still MIA. Decide that now was as good a time as any to scoop up the doggie mines so I don't step in one while working on the Mole People Mystery. Most of my entourage is now noticeably absent. Having a low boredom threshold, they have moved on to other adventures I guess. Pippi and Emmy remain with me. As my self-designated guardians, they dog my footsteps.
wat mom doin'?
dunno.
huntin' mow pepl'?
dunno.
wen suppah?
dunno
Time to regroup again. When things get tough, the tough bake bread. I am making Craisin Bread to bake in my Outdoor Gas Convection Oven, aka the BBQ. I love dried sweetened fruit. Dried cherries and dried cranberries are my favorites, closely followed by dried blueberries. But today I am making Cranberry yeast bread. The gathering of the ingredients, the mixing of the dough sooth me and I come to a decision about the Mole People.
I will let them think they have beaten me. Let them think they can have all those pea and bean seeds. After all, I do have more to plant. I am moving my pea and bean patch to a very large green tub, two feet high and two feet in diameter, which I used for flowers last year and haven't got around to using at all yet this year. They can't tunnel up from the bottom; can't tunnel through from the sides. I can cover it with landscape fabric to keep them from getting at the seeds should they try climbing up and into the open top. Hah! Take that Mole People!!
And I have another tub the same size I just might plant to peas as well. Maybe if I can finally convince Richard to move the old bathtub from beside the well house into the garden yard, I will plant it too. What else can I find to plant peas and beans in??? There must be something....
Will it work? Will it keep the Mole People at bay? Will they finally return my garden trowel? Will my Craisin Bread turn out?
dunno.
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