Monday, July 14, 2008

Recipe for Loss Prevention

I went hunting yesterday. No, no, not for a cute little Island Buck Mule Deer - for CD's. I have hundreds of them sitting uselessly on shelves: NT Workstation 4; Corel 5 Unleashed; Windows 95; Canon Creative; Adobe Photoshop 5; Best of Bill Cosby; CorelDraw 6; HP Idea Kit; and several hundred I-have-not-a-clue-what-is-on-them-and-don't-care CD's. I have a plan...

After Richard gets home from work, eats and then picks up two loads of hay bales from the field, he sets to work making the baler twine fence extension. I busy myself with cutting & tying raffia to all those CD's. I hang a few on the fence. Not fun. I let Richard do that and I just cut and tie. And cut and tie. And cut and tie. An hour and a half later and 3 forages through the old CD's on the shelf, we are done and it's 9pm. Now to hang the beach mats. Doesn't take long because: I HAVE A PLAN.

And it works. Using plastic clips from shower curtains we clip the beach mats to the metal bunk bed frame, two mats per side. Cover up all those chewed up Scarlet Runner beans. Then clip mats together at the bottom. Take one of the shower curtains and clip it to the front of the metal frame and hang it down over the front of the boat covering all those tasty little tomato morsels. TAKE THAT cute little Island Mule Deer. Now it is quarter to 10. We Are Done.

The yard light comes on and I go in and plug in the fence lights. There is a breeze and the raffia-tied CD's dance crazily, reflecting brilliant shots of light all around.

"All we need now is some Disco Music" Richard comments. I give him THE LOOK.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice is whispering something about barn doors and horses. Kind of apropos here.

Recipe For Loss Prevention

Take 200 old and useless but extremely reflective CD's.
Stir in hundreds of feet of baling twine.
Add raffia.
Tie some more.
And still more.
Hang at varying heights from 6 inches to 1&1/2 feet from top of baler twine fence addition.

Stir vigorously in a breeze.

Make 2 trips to town to grocery store to purchase twelve 40" x 70" beach mats, on clearance, because you never checked the first time and thought all those folded up beach mats were only 13 inches wide, not 40 inches wide, sigh.
Hang beach mats from metal bunk bed frame in garden boat using plastic shower curtain clips.
Place potted plants at base of beach mats to hold them against garden boat to keep beach mats from blowing around because what the heck,
that cute little Island Buck Mule Deer has already nibbled on those plants anyway.

12 Beach Mats on clearance: $26.07 on Debit Card
Making your garden yard look like a Disco Club - Priceless!

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