Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Revenge of the Mole People

It's cold, dreary and rainy as I get up to let the dogs outside, my eyes at half mast as usual. Another 2 painkiller day, methinks. I open the patio door for them, but they balk after sticking one paw out and sensing rain. I can't blame them, I wouldn't want to pee outside in that weather either. It takes some coaxing but they finally run out into the small pen, the one covered by a tarp so they have shelter, and do their stuff. Good Dogs!

Back inside, time for cappuccino and the news: Democratic Convention; Listeriosis spreads across Canada; Olympic Athletes home from Beijing; computer virus infects some space station laptops; author of "100 Things to do Before You Die" has died - wonder if he did his 100 things? Time to see what Anna Olsen is cooking...

...Honey Yogurt Cheesecake, YUM! Got both eyes focusing now, so time to get on with my day. Taking laundry out again as the well is still really low, but first, breakfast. Honey Nut Cheerios because I feel lazy and don't want to make my usual bowl of microwaved oatmeal with dried cranberries. I walk out into the pantry for a bowl and spoon and OH GAK, WHAT IS THAT ON THE DISH DRAINER? AAAHHHHGGGGG! MOLE PEOPLE POO!!! Slitty eyed, double scrunchy face - if it were an Olympic sport I would win gold.

I holler at Richard and tell him NOT to use any of the clean dishes in the dish drainer, then immediately rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. Then I throw the dish drainer out in the garbage. Whaaaat? You think I am gonna use it after it has been covered in Mole People Poo? Wash it off you say? Gak! Would you wash out a child's potty and use it as a salad bowl? I thought not.

Outside and getting ready to put dirty laundry in van and discover more Mole People Poo all over the back seat. Triple scrunchy face here. This means war. Richard gets the old vacuum and the vinegar and sets to work. He lifts the hood and checks the engine compartment to discover they have packed stuff in there everywhere. He cleans it out. Off we go to do laundry and get Mole People traps.

I go to Dollar Giant to purchase several plastic food storage containers - 24 to be precise. My big cupboard in the pantry has easy ingress for Mole People and I have been storing things like pasta, marshmallows, rice, cereal all in their own packaging. I know, just KNOW, that if I don't do something, and today, that they will be in my cupboard chowing down, and leaving their Mole People Poo on everything. And then everything will have to go in the garbage. The joys of country living.

Back home with 5 loads of laundry to dry. And 24 containers to fill and reshelve in the pantry. Done. That feels better. I also had bought 2 Mole People traps at the store that Richard will bait with peanut butter tonight. This is getting quite tiresome, and I will not - WILL NOT - let them win. I will vanquish them once and for all. Time for bed.

Morning again and after letting dogs out I wander out into the kitchen. "Well, did you catch a mouse?" I ask Richard.

He gives me his version of a slitty-eyed look. "No! Little buggers ate off all the peanut butter, never tripped the trap, then left me a deposit".

I snicker. Yes, it IS annoying, but you have to admire their cheekiness. "What about in the van?" I query.

"Did the same thing there too, only no deposit." he responds.

We discuss merits of and discard various types of Mole People traps before settling on live traps. Less messy and easier to dispose of Mole People that way. And off he goes to find some.

So, will we vanquish the Mole People?

And if we do, will all the relatives show up for the wake?

Does this mean the start of another loooonnnnngggg, wet winter, because the Mole People are moving indoors already?

And where is my garden trowel?????!!

The score is Mole People 2, silly humans 0, and it's the bottom of the second. Stay tuned.....

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